Happy Thanksgiving: The Family that Shares

Three years ago, I moved to Flagstaff, Arizona for a simpler life. Well, to also escape my personal hell.

I broke my engagement off with my ex after walking in on him with another woman. I believe that was the fourth time he cheated that I knew of. One for each year I put up with him. For the most part, Derrick was a catch. He had a great career, made good money, knew how his way around my body, and was very generous to everyone. The problem was that his generosity included his dick. I didn’t want to share it anymore, so off to Flagstaff.

My family thought the move was another dramatic gesture of mine. They didn’t understand the power Derrick had over me. If I stayed within reach, I would’ve forgiven him again. What he did messed me up each time, but the way he charmed his way back into my heart was beyond any strength I could conjure up to say no. I loved him more than he deserved and more than I loved myself. Once I realized it, my “drastic” actions began.

The beautiful long waves the flowed from my head lived in a dumpster. Derrick loved my hair, and so did my family. At times, it defined me more than the person I was on the inside. I’d get the “you’re so gorgeous with all that hair,” or “people would pay a fortune for hair like that,” and even “don’t ever cut your hair, men love women with long hair.”

Well, it was gone. It was all I was known for: The pretty girl with long hair. I posted a picture on my private blog of my new look once I settled in Flagstaff. The women in my family blew up my phone. After the first few calls of “why did you?”, “how could you?”, and my favorite from Grammy, “you look like a girl that likes women!”, I ignored the rest. Removing myself from everyone served me up a peaceful existence.

Each year, my mom begged me to come home for the holidays. And each year I declined. I didn’t have time for the looks and questions from the nosiest, most rudely judgmental human beings on the planet. I made new friends from work and church. No new man, but I had time before that became a concern. As much as I couldn’t stand my family, I still wanted one of my own someday.

Then I got a call from my sister-in-law, Jessica, who was basically my little sister. I talked to her more than anyone, even my big-head brother she married five years ago. She tried to guilt me into coming because I’d never met my two-year-old nephew, Daniel, in person. I countered the fact that I knew how he looks and he could recognize me from the hundreds of video calls. I never missed a birthday or holiday. Little man received gifts from me every time. It would be nice to finally give him a hug though. But that was all his parents’ fault. They could have made the twenty-hour drive to see me. Or fly if my brother, DJ, had any sense. He was almost thirty and still afraid that a plane will fall from the sky if he was on board. Crazy!

Either way, she twisted my arm by promising to make a sweet potato pecan pie. I attempted to create it the way she did, but it’s never the same. She swears it’s a family secret that she cannot share, so I probably won’t ever get that sweet heavenly goodness without her. And I’d have an extra one to take back home with me. If she offered me this deal last year or the one before, I would’ve endured my family for it.

My flight departed on Wednesday morning, and it wasn’t cheap. I would’ve come on Thanksgiving day and left that evening to make this trip as painless as possible, so flight earlier than today was a no go. The plan was to surprise my parents on Turkey day. I stayed at my brother’s place for the night.
“I can’t believe you’re really here,” Jessica gushed.
“Me either. I’ve been dreading it since I left,” I admitted.
Jessica ran after Daniel to grab her phone that he just snatched from the coffee table. He was already a pro at using that thing for games.
“It’s not that bad, Gabby. Your family is …”
“Rude as hell,” I finished.
She tilted her head in agreement.
“Well, I was going to say brutally honest. But we’ll go with that one.”
We chuckled until the phone burglar returned. This time he took mine. It was locked, so he’d bring it back eventually.

Jessica told me that my cousin, Shemeika, was coming to Grammy’s tomorrow with her new husband. They got married last year, but no one met him yet. Not even my aunt, Sylvia. How do you marry someone and your own mother never met him? My cousin had her share of bad men, so I could kind of understand it if she wanted to make sure this one was good. Then again, she already married the guy. I remember my mom telling me how Meeka got married in Jamaica or Hawaii on the beach with no one but the bride and groom present. So, meeting the dude tomorrow may trump my surprise pop up.

I missed Meeka. We were like Velcro growing up. So much so, we fought over everything. She stole a pair of my favorite sneakers in high school and had the nerve to wear them to my house. I snatched them off her feet as soon as I saw them. When she visited, she would bring snacks since she claimed we never had anything good to eat. For some reason, she always caught me with my hand in the cookie jar. It was like she had a silent alarm in her chip bag. Every time we fought, one of our parents fussed at us about not being able to share. The lecture mentioned that family should share everything and be happy about doing it. Our problem was that we didn’t ask first.

As adults, we grew closer. We shared everything and even moved into our first apartment together. That was a bad time in our lives because she decided in month three of our year-long lease that she didn’t like paying bills and moved back with Aunt Sylvia. It took a while for me to forgive her for stiffing me like that. Luckily, I found a roommate two months later, but those months were tough.

I used to jokingly blame her for my relationship with Derrick. My replacement roommate was his twin sister. The girl warned me about her brother, but damn he was sexy. I played hard to get for almost a year, but he kept pursuing me even while he was dating other girls. He claimed I was the only one he’d take seriously if I ever gave him a chance. I fell for it and paid the price.
Meeka was my go-to whenever I needed someone to talk to. She understood that sometimes I just needed an ear to listen and not someone barking at me like my mom and aunts would. So many nights were occupied with me talking her ear off about the things Derrick put me through. She never complained, and that’s what I loved about her.

About two years ago, my cousin and I lost touch. I became busy at work and all the hobbies I picked up being so lonely in a new city. I had finally found my happy place, and I couldn’t talk to her about it. Rumor has it, she fell off the grid like I did. Then all of a sudden, she found someone to spend the rest of her life with. She changed her number and gave it to no one. Not even Aunt Sylvia. She blocked her number when she called her poor mother to let her know she was okay. I guess we were both going through that phase.

Thanksgiving was upon us, and we were behind. It’s not like you can actually be late, but it was after 3 P.M. People start arriving around 1:30 P.M. When you are late, you get whatever was left. We had a huge family, so anytime after 2:45 P.M. was pushing it. Everyone was grown with families and had to hit up more than one house on this holiday. Sometimes, Grammy’s house was their first stop.

I bet most of my cousins already made their to-go plates stocked with Grammy’s cornbread dressing. That dish was like a drug. And she never made enough to last the first hour. Then we’d have to eat the experimental dressings my aunts brought over. They weren’t all bad, but they weren’t Grammy’s. I could kiss my serving goodbye. No one knew I was coming so I’m sure no one saved me any.

We waited until Daniel took his full nap. DJ and Jessica swore he turned into a little gremlin without adequate rest. Not Gizmo either, but the awful ones that tore the place up when fed after midnight gremlins. The hopeful angel woke up right before 4 o’clock. Off we went to face the off-key, everybody had an opinion, probably don’t even miss me choir known as my family.

When we arrived, it was nothing like I expected. I was greeted with wide-eyed, awkward smiles. My mom got the surprise of the year when she rubbed her fingers through my now shoulder-length hair. Deep down, she wished I faked the whole chopping it off thing and wore a wig. Once she felt my scalp, she gently popped me on the head.
“I will never understand why you would do such a thing, Gabrielle,” my mom expressed.
“I am so happy to see you to Mom. It’s only been three years.”
“Don’t get smart with your mother, you know she took pride in your hair as if it was her own,” Dad joked from behind her, waiting for his turn to hug me.
After a long one, he looked into my eyes and let out a dramatic exhale. It didn’t feel right.
“What’s the matter, Dad? You look worried,” I told him.
“Ah, it’s nothing. I never imagined not seeing you for so long.”
“Guys, I still live in the same country. I’m only a couple states over.”
“Gabs!” Aunt Sylvia shouted.
“Hey, auntie!”
She rushed over and turned me toward the door. “I have a surprise outside in my car.”
“Really? How did you know I’d be here.”
“Um, it’s was just a hunch.”
“Okay?”
“Uh-uh, Sylvia. Let her come in,” Grammy said from the next room. I hadn’t seen her yet, but it’s not like no one heard us near the door.
Aunt Sylvia walked into the living room, and I followed. “Momma, please?”
“No. I want to see my granddaughter.”
Everyone was acting so odd.
“Hey, Grammy. What’s going on in here?” I asked walking toward her to give her a hug and kiss.
“A soap opera, girl. And it just got good,” my aunt Marcy said sitting at the kitchen table.
“Oh, hush up. Stop being messy,” Grammy said, grimacing at my aunt.
“Child, forget dinner. We need some popcorn up in here,” Aunt Terri told Aunt Marcy.
Meeka walked into the room from the back. I rushed over and gave her a hug. I was so happy to see her after all these years. Also, because she was the only sane one besides my brother.
“What is wrong with these people? They’ve been acting strange ever since I got here,” I whispered to her.
“Oh my God! I didn’t know you were coming,” she said, hugging me a second time.
“No one did. Maybe that’s why they’re tripping. So, where’s this new hubby of yours? I hope he’s cute.”
“She would know,” I heard Aunt Terri say before giggling with Aunt Marcy.
Just then, a man slowly walked toward us from the back as well.
“Derrick? What the hell are you doing here?” I asked.
The room grew quiet. For a moment I thought I had lost my hearing from the shock.
Meeka stood by his side. “Gabby, um …”
“Shemeika is my wife,” exited his lips.
Everything froze. My speech, my breathing, my brain.
“Meeka, is this some kind of joke?” I asked.
“No, she’s—” Derrick said.
“I’m not talking to you,” I snapped.
“Gabby, I was going to tell you, but …”
“But what? You thought that telling me you married my ex who I told you everything about was too hard. Uh, yeah. The same person that caused me to move far away and never look back. The same dumbass who you swore was a horrible person because of how he treated me,” I ranted.
Derrick grabbed me to put distance between Meeka and me.
“Get your fucking hands off of me.”
“Babe. I mean, Gabrielle. It’s not personal. Don’t be mad at her,” he said stepping away from me.
The gasps around the room were worse than the whispers.
“Did he just call her babe? Mm-hm, I knew it. He married Meeka to get to Gabby,” Grammy now gossiped with my aunts.
“Nigga, you got some nerve,” DJ told him.
My brother looked like he wanted to fight.
Derrick moved closer to me and reached for my hand before I pulled it away. “Look, can we talk about this in private.”
“Uh-uh, brother. You walked up in here like you owned the place. You ain’t taking her nowhere,” Grammy declared.
That man rolled his eyes and sucked his teeth. “Please, Pea! I need to talk to you.”
“Who the hell is Pea?” Meeka asked.
“He used to call her Sweet Pea, mm-hm,” my mom answered.
I guess this was a group discussion now.
Derrick gave me those puppy eyes he used to do when he knew he was wrong. That shit did nothing to me anymore.
“Don’t call me that ever again. I am not your Pea. I am not your woman. You tend to your wife and stay the hell away from me.”
He pulled at me again. “Babe, listen.”
In a flash, I looked at Meeka’s face and imagined the two of them together. My blood boiled to the point that I blacked out.

When I came to, my mom and aunts were holding me against the wall near the kitchen. The room was loud with everyone talking all at once. My blurred vision slowly improved until I saw my cousin’s busted lip and Derrick on the floor holding his nuts with blood dripping from his nose.
“Ow! What happened?” I asked, holding my throbbing head.
Aunt Terri glared at me. “You happened, Black Dynamite.”
“Huh?”
“Are you okay?” Mom asked.
I held my frontal lobe with both hands. It felt like the room was spinning. We were next to the sliding door that led to the backyard. My mom opened it and guided me outside with my aunts in tow.
I fell into the outdoor sofa. Mom sat a little too close, rubbing my head as if she could make the pain go away. The ladies explained to me that one second I was staring at Meeka and the next I assaulted them. None of that registered in my mind. At least not the putting my hands on them part.
“Why are they here together?” I asked.
“I had the same question. We found out just like you did. She walked in the house with him like he was a stranger we’d be happy to meet,” Mom said.
Aunt Marcy paced the patio mumbling to herself.
“Would you sit down?” Aunt Terri told her. “And where the hell did you learn how to fight like that Gabby? No one saw them lightning hands coming.”
“I don’t even remember doing it. I took self-defense when I moved since I’d have to protect myself if anything happened.”
“Shit, you defended your honor with precision, okaaay. That man is going to need ice on them suckers. You kicked him hard. But you didn’t have to hit Meeka. She’s family. No matter how much we disappoint each other. We never physically fight,” Aunt Marcy lectured.
“It wasn’t my fault or my intention. You know that. I don’t fight,” I said in defense.
“You’re right. You attack with no counters from the other person,” Aunt Terri joked and laughed alone. “What? Too soon.”
“Shut your ignorant ass up, Terri. What Gabby did was wrong,” Mom announced.
“The hell? Let one of you heifers walk into the place with my ex as your new husband. I’d do worse than Gabrielle, I tell you that,” she declared with much attitude.
“Well, we know better. This generation here is just nasty. Sharing men? Girl, please,” Aunt Marcy claimed.
We were interrupted by my dad poking his head out the patio door. “You alright, killer?”
“David!” Mom chided.
Everyone else thought it was funny. Dad informed us that the newlyweds had left along with Aunt Sylvia.
The four of us went back inside. Grammy went on like nothing happened. She was the only one. I had to hear about what everyone else would’ve done and the never-ending “are you okay?” probing.

What kind of question is that? The one man who broke my heart countless times slithered his way into my family. And Meeka? It all felt like an April Fool’s prank. The only fool was my cousin. She’d find out for herself what type of man she married. I guess my constant crying and venting to her wasn’t enough.

It was all so nasty. At the same time, I was glad I had Derrick first. I couldn’t sleep with someone knowing a close relative had some. My aunts kept ranting that it was the “thing” for my generation. No, the hell it wasn’t. Normal people didn’t do shit like that. And Meeka was a good girl. I don’t know how he suckered her to even date him, let alone marry him.

Everyone had their aha moments when they realized why she distanced herself and didn’t invite them to the wedding. No one would have shown up if they knew she was screwing Derrick. He had been to all of our family functions while we were together, so he had some balls on him to come today. Injured balls, but still.
Mom forced me to apologize to Meeka. I sent her a text.

Meeka, I am so sorry for hitting you. I guess those things happen when I’m told that my closest family member married my ex. It’s okay though. I hope you find the happiness your husband couldn’t give me. And hey, when he cheats make him apologize with that tongue trick he does. It was my favorite. Love you and Happy Thanksgiving!

When I went for my second plate of food, I saw a container with Meeka’s name on it. Jackpot! My cousin took my sloppy seconds, so I get to take her cornbread dressing. An even trade. Nah, I got the best out of this deal. And they said we didn’t know how to share.